New Short Story

All,

Much apologizes for the lack of postings since December 2009. I imagine many of you probably thought this blog was "going out of business" and that was not my intent. Organizing time in Beijing is one of the most difficult things to do, which is not an excuse as you do want to communicate with the people you care about the most.

To update from the last year, my relationship with Renee ended around Feb/March 2010, mainly because of differences in career paths and uncertainty, more from her part, on whether we could withstand a long distance relationship. Since Renee, I have dated off and on with only western females, mainly European and American. I continue to stay clear of Chinese women (mainland), mainly because I am certain that I cannot handle their quirkiness. I am being somewhat diplomatic in using the word "quirkiness" as they generally pout and whine when things do not go their way, and have trouble expressing their feelings, preferring more passive-aggressive forms of communication. Of course, I am speaking on the experience of other friends (as well as multiple public observations) since I never have dated a Chinese. That being said, on separate occasions I have discussed my thoughts with Chinese Beijing-ren, and I learned that Chinese women have an expectation that foreign males should know Chinese dating custom, and if not they should immediately assimilate to the Chinese way of dating. If this does not occur fast enough, the pouting and whining commences (I must write though that this behavior is not exclusive to "misunderstandings, but also when "things" are not given or addressed to make one party happy). My retort to this argument was the following: assimilation is important for any cross-cultural relationship, but to have difficulty communicating your feelings and also not learning the "western" style of dating is one-sided and will lead to an unhealthy relationship. As you can see, I am unconvinced I could date a Chinese girl. Maybe time will prove me wrong....

On the note of dating, or merely meeting new friends, the breadth of the expat community here is incredible, as the type and variety of people you meet never fails to astound. It is truly a potpourri of personality and culture, all mixed together in this extremely populous metropolitan city known as Beijing. I tried explaining it to a friend once, and I said that Beijing is unique in that unlike Washington, DC, for example, the expats here quickly merge into a family and most of the time do not separate into cultural diasporas. For instance, you would be hard pressed to find "Latino" or "French" groups separated from the overall expat community. However, the embassy community is somewhat more exclusive in this sense, and I don't know why? Maybe it is easier hanging out with Americans who you work with, but I find separating work from social life is a little easier.

On travel, within the last year, I have been to India, South Korea, Thailand, Mongolia, and Cambodia. My next destination will be Laos and Vietnam...and I will be heading to Australia and New Zealand around Feb 2012.

All the above trips were amazing. I have to say that Cambodia was one of my favorite countries to visit. You only need 5-6 days to see Angkor Watt and Phnom Phen, but the people are incredibly friendly. It was one of the first times where when I was being hassled to buy something that saying "no" once was enough to get someone off your back. Afterward, the seller was seriously interested in getting to know who you were, where you were from, and literally had no intention to sneak in an additional sale (well 90% of time this is true). As a traveler you had the luxury to get to know the culture, which is a rarity. India was the opposite, as tricks were the trade. Everything was a potential sale, and you never knew if friendly advice just meant leading you to a sale...very frustrating experience. However, the beaches of India are gorgeous. It rivaled Thailand on many fronts.

The South Korean people were also warm, as many times I was stopped by locals who asked to make sure I was not lost, or on another occasion, while I climbed a mountain outside Seoul, a family asked me to join their troupe and took pictures of me at various scenic points. Their English was not the best, but how often would you expect to receive such kindness? Actually, in South Korea it is not customary to eat by yourself, and when I entered restaurants, especially local traditional lunch spots, the South Koreans would invite me to sit with them, sitting Indian style or on your knees, of course.

I have not written much on China on this posting, but I plan to on future write-ups. This week, I just bought a new road bike and will be exploring more of the hidden gems of Beijing. It can get easy to hang around the expat areas, especially when the majority of my friends are expats. One of my goals for the Chinese year of the rabbit is to bike around town and find out more of what this city and culture has to offer. As I have 2 years left, I think these expeditions deserve more of my organization capacity, and attention.

Below, I am adding a piece I wrote about a month ago on how life changes in the "Jing" as we expats call it here. The focus on the short story is on change (mainly on the high influx of people who are coming and going), and that while it may be difficult, it is a necessary reality that truly is a positive. I doubt I would have never had met such an amazing array of people if this city didn't attract them to come in the first place.

Cheers and miss you all

Josh

____________________

The White Doves
(written Feb 2011)

The year of the Tiger had come to an end, now an undertow eclipsed by a wave breaking recklessly across the shoreline. Reflecting upon a pool of glass, memories lingered. He silently pondered them while driving, sometimes riding the brakes to jerk himself awake.

Steaming black coffee, more than likely the Starbucks or Costa variety, rocked lazily in his armrest, filling the front seats with a lofty fragrance. It loped its bitter contents onto the matted floor as a bicyclist and pedestrian carelessly sped in front of the vehicle. The car immediately halted, and surrounding traffic honked with rage.

As the car waited patiently, he recognized a local park where he had played sports and gathered with friends, many of whom had already left the city within that short year. His lips curled into a warm grin. It was the kind of smile that formed at the first glimpse or smell of familiarity, and often caused the deepest and purest emotions to unconsciously ignite and overflow. It burrowed a clear, unobstructed path into one’s inner-soul, not because the memory itself was reflective of that purity, but because those deep-seeded feelings could not be restrained.

From those moments, he remembered her. He gently smiled while thinking of her, and hoped one day he might find the strength to voice unspoken affections, a regret that lingered deep in his heart. He wanted to say his missed her- that he would have given the world to her if she had asked, and still would. Maybe now all that could be was a memory.

As dawn approached, the sun escaped behind a decaying ghost reminiscent of the Great Wall. Outside in the dry, icy evening air, he sighed as the work day came to a close and drew his gaze to the grey city sky-line. Later, among many friends he now considered family, the daily grind gradually dislodged itself from his mind while guests huddled intimately over a nest of hot pizza and chilled Tsingdao. Gentle laughter quietly filled the room.

While exiting to the car with a full, contented belly, he haphazardly scrolled through phone numbers, and hesitated when a few appeared for departed friends. Breathing deeply, he sorrowfully deleted them, but held their memory close.

For the next few days, he reflected on how new paths would unfold during the year of the Rabbit. There was little doubt that all his relationships would change in the next year, as they had in previous years. Maturation was inevitable. Maybe a few of those new or old relationships would eventually root themselves deeper into his heart, into his soul. He smiled at that thought. He smiled not because he hoped the world would turn in his favor, but because he could not but wonder if life might develop into something more radiant, and yet unforeseen.

It was a New Year to celebrate the new. It was a New Year to celebrate life.